The following one is not really a joke but the real diary of a guy.

On the other hand the story is not really very funny, well it’s pretty sad instead.

“My father was a stupid. He worked for a bank and was catched stealing pencils”

“When I was born the doctor came into the waiting room to tell my father “I’m sorry, we did to out best ... but he got out!”"

“I wasn’t ever breast-fed. My mother said she wanted me as a friend only”

“My father was always bearing in his wallet the picture of the kid ... I mean, the sample picture of the kid included when he bought the wallet”

“Soon I realized that my parents hated me. My bathroom toys were a toaster and a radio”

“Once upon a time I found myself lost. I asked the policeman if he thought we could find my parents.” “I don’t really know, kid” he replied, “there are many places they can hide”

“When I was kidnapped, the kidnappers sent a piece of my finger to my father. My father replied he wanted more proofs”

“The last wish of my moribund father was to have me sat on his lap. He was at the electric chair!”

“I worked for a pets shop. People didn’t stop asking how tall I’ll get”

“Once I ran across the U.S. General Surgeon. He offered me a cigarette”

“Other time a girl gave me a buzz telling “Hurry up, come to my home, nobody is here!” When I got there, effectively, nobody was there”

“My wife loves talking to me after making love. Two days ago she called me from a hotel”

"Once I took a whole flask of tranquilizers. The doctor told me: “Have a drink and take a nap”

“The psychiatrist said I was turning mad as a hammer. I asked him to have a second opinion and he replied: “O.K. You are also very ugly”

“Other time I was about to kill myself jumping from a ten storie building. They sent a priest to help me. His words of courage were: “Ready...?"